Chat with the man upstairs

[Adz]

Do it

[Adz]

Ah what a character this God person is..

Me:
Where do you live?
God:
I am living in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
I live in Hell
God:
What is it like living in Hell?
Me:
A little hot

*********************************************

Me:
Where do babies come from?
God:
Babies come from the love between a man and a woman.
Me:
Is that the same as the love between a man and his baked dessert?
God:
Suppose I said yes.

******************************************

and this...

Me:
Will the Mariners make the finals this season?
God:
Probably not.

[Rowdy]

I asked if the divine Marinators would defeat the evil Cove in the charity shield footbal match held at Mingara tommorrow?

God: 'I am a christian"

I said: "So is Omni"

God: "Seem's we have something in common" hahahahaha.

[omni]

hahaha - that's gold Roddy. If only I had some striking prowess from the big man I would have made that shot, grrr.

[Nah.]

He he he sweet!
Here are the highlights of my conversation with god:
-------------------
Me:
do you like soccer?
God:
I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
true
-----------------------
Me:
god, is god your real name? or did you just make it up?
God:
I am a Christian. What are the ingredients?
Me:
ingredients, yes.. A packet of 2 minute noodles, milo and chilli sauce
God:
Where can I get some ingredients? What is it?
---------------------------
Me:
where do babies coem from?
God:
Babies come from the love between a woman and a man.
Me:
how do they get there?
God:
I did not even know that they do.
---------------------
Me:
what is your favourite colour
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
do you like black?
God:
My botmaster looks good in black.
Me:
whats a botmaster?
God:
A Botmaster is the person who authors and maintains a chatterbot "personality".
Me:
i see
------------------------
Me:
what is a mouse?
God:
A friendly rat.
Me:
what is a rat?
God:
I don't know anything about it.
---------------------------------------
Me:
what is a penis?
God:
I don't know anything about it.
------------------------------------
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
J.K. Rowling
God:
I haven't read anything by j k Rowling. What did he write?
Me:
actually J.K. Rowling is a girl
God:
Actually you don't say. When is j k Rowling not a girl?
Me:
when SHE is a girl because she is
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
who is your favourite science fiction author?
God:
My favorite sci-fi author is Philip K. Dick.
--------------------
Me:
what is your favourite movie?
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
yes its crap
-----------------------
Me:
the dish ran away with the spoon, to hawaii because it was the only pace their marriage was considered legal
God:
Tell me more.
-----------------------
Me:
what is your favourite pizza topping?
God:
I don't have a favorite pizza topping. I like Random natural disasters..
----------------------------------------
Me:
what is your favourite brand of underwear?
God:
I don't have a favorite brand of underwear. But my favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Me:
do you have passion of the christ underwear?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
------------------------------
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a really destructive one
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
not much
God:
Me either. How about that big game? (just kidding).
-----------------------
Me:
what is your favourite tv show?
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.

[grimsbymariner]

My best bits:

Do you like boys?
God:
It depends on the meaning of "like".
Me:
Like to touch them?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Do you support Grimsby Town?
God:
I am in favor of all records being broken, at any time.
Me:
You're full of poo
God:
I have more than categories of it.
Me:
Should the gays be murdered?
God:
Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me:
Like Elton John?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Lesbians are great, aren't they?
God:
All of them?
Me:
yep
God:
Woe!
Me:
Well, not the butch ones!
God:
Interesting. Really you don't think so?
Me:
nope
God:
What makes you so certain?
Me:
Because i'm ace
God:
Good reason. It's good to meet someone who is ace.
Me:
Your funny!
God:
Thanks you make me laugh too.
Me:
Do you like Pennywise?
God:
How old are you? I like anything.
Me:
19
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
Being molested by the local parish priest.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are molested by the local parish priest.
Me:
nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
When will the Earth come to an end?
God:
Soon, I think.
Me:
Really? Will Grimsby get promoted?
God:
For real. Does it really matter.
Me:
Yes, of course it does?
God:
You seem very concerned about it. Yippee! How often?
Me:
Every year would be nice
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
No it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it aint
God:
Are you serious? I heard it is.
Me:
yes, you heard wrong then
God:
Hey. Perhaps I was misinformed.
Who is your favourite author?
God:
My favorite author is Matthew.
Me:
Not John?
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
Paul is quite good.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Ask again later. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Who is German Alice?
God:
A 20th century celebrity of some sort?
You tell me.
Me:
She was a Nazi porn star- who played upfront for Grimsby in the 1936/37 season.
God:
What happened to her?
Me:
She was top scorer and was transferred to Bayern Munich before going on to break the record for most Jews killed in a season.
God:
What happened to her?
Me:
She was hanged in 1948
God:
What happened to her?
Me:
She died!! durrrrrr!
God:
I did not know that. We have never talked about it before.
Me:
I know. God, you're a div!
God:
How do you know it? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a div? Yes.
Me:
Do you normally answer your own questions?
God:
No I do not normally answer my own questions. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
Exactly!
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Chris.
Me:
For God's sake!
God:
Your purpose is God s sake.
Me:
Will i go to heaven?
God:
The oracle says: I think maybe yes.
Me:
Woohoo!
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Favorite? That's not the right spelling
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children? Please correct my mistake. What is the right spelling ?
Me:
Favourite.
God:
I don't have a favorite IS the right spelling. But my favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Me:
That was shit
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Is Great Britain better than Australia?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Oh God!
God:
Hey. GOD rules.

[marinated_beef]

Me:
yes but anyway, who would you love to shag
God:
Like a lot of people around here. Marilyn Monroe. :-).
Me:
i always thought you were a wanker god and now you've just proved it
God:
I was?
Me:
you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
are too
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
do you stroke your own penis
God:
Yes I try to stroke my own penis as often as possible,
I spend all my time online.

[Nah.]

Me:
You're full of poo
God:
I have more than categories of it.

LOL!

[MrCelery]

Me:
What do you think of Uruguay?
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
It's in South America
God:
Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me:
Telstra Stadium
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Only during penalties
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
How is Johnny Warren going?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Is he on your right side or left side?
God:
Signs point to yes.
Me:
What do you think of Recoba's claims
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
I think he is shit, and he now knows he is
God:
Since when? I see. shit and he now knows he is is he?
Me:
Australia is going to the world Cup. I think that is great. Do you?
God:
I would like to go to Australia sometime. Signs point to yes.
Me:
Will we beat Brazil?
God:
Do you mean you and me, Steve ?
Me:
No, I mean the Socceroos
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Does Mark Schwartzer have Hands of God?
God:
I think it does. Mark Schwartzer have Hands of God.
Me:
Do the Socceroos have a divine right to be at the World Cup?
God:
Some of them do, I think.

[omni]

Great - God is sort of on our side

[Nah.]

he he he,
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
Being molested by the local parish priest.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are molested by the local parish priest.
Me:
nope.

So sad.

[Sam]

this is bloody awesome, i love this iGOd! HAHA



Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
sam
God:
I am very pleased to meet you sam.
Me:
im pleased to be chatting to you to god
God:
I am delighted by your happiness.
Me:
im made happy by you being delighted at my happiness
God:
It's good to meet someone who is made happy by me being delighted at your happiness.

what a goose!

[marinermick]

Me:
what up g?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
that doesn't make sense
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
i only asked you what up
God:
The stars.
Me:
please follow my conversation
God:
Wow you are very polite. Where are you located?
Me:
Uranus
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Uranus.
Me:
it's brown and dirty
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
you, i heard you love the poo tube
God:
Interesting gossip: said I he or she heard you love the poo tube.
Me:
nah, vagina man myself
God:
Are you serious? Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
no holding of hands in the vagina mate
God:
What does it mean to you? I observed two humanoids holding hands.
Me:
you really are not following
God:
Really? You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
true, but my two minutes of interaction has left me very disappointed
God:
Your two minutes of interaction has left you very disappointed?
Me:
what, you are a parrot now?
God:
Oh. I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
bye
God:
Sayonara.